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Lee E. Meadows, PhD.

Professor of Management –Walsh College

Authored: Silent Conspiracy & Silent Suspicion

Business world success depends on courtesy

Recently I had the good fortune to facilitate a daylong seminar on ‘Best Management Practices’ for a group of departmental managers at a local Tier 1 company. As much as the experience itself was enjoyable, I couldn’t help but reflect on a particular seminar member who, after arriving an hour late, proceeded to loudly announce his presence by asking “Is this the class where we learn how to be nice to people?” I assured him that this seminar was, essentially, an extension of those things we learned at home. He snorted, sat down and spent the remainder of the morning checking his PDA to see if anyone missed him. It became apparent to me and everyone else that he was sent to the seminar just so the people in his department could have a peacefully productive day. I didn’t believe his rude behavior had anything to do with being at the seminar and everything to do with his lack of understanding that being ‘nice’ as a part of managing people has little to do with being ‘courteous’ as a part of living among people.

Despite all the trends, turns and spins that have transformed the way we interact inside our companies, I don’t remember hearing or reading anywhere that common courtesy was thrown out with the forty hour work week. Perhaps the resurgent interest in business etiquette may be tied this concern that our extended, digitally timed, productivity measured work lives, leave little room for the commonly held practices of saying ‘please’, ‘thank-you’, ‘pardon me’, ‘if you don’t mind’, ‘I’m sorry’ and other seemingly abandoned courtesies.

There is no doubt that success in today’s business career is a combination of skills, knowledge, ability, opportunity and timing, but if you saw these areas as factors in a fraction, then courtesy would be the common denominator holding them up for examination. As much as our companies want tough-minded people who can make tough-minded decisions, there is still a part that recognizes and rewards the ability to remain civil in tough times.

Here are some things I noticed which I really believe won’t carry a career very far:

Conversational Cursing: I’m always amazed at the number of men and women who tend to forget that image is shaped by the common use of language. What may pass as just talk among peers is easily seen as lack of good sense by the organizational powers that be.

Dysfunctional Diatribe: Standing over someone at their cubicle, pointing your finger in their face and yelling to make your point, rarely endears you to the recipient or the organization that has to make ‘people’ relational decisions about who gets promoted.

Supporting Stupidity: Is it too much to ask that you cover your mouth when sneezing, coughing or having a cell phone conversation? It seems that whenever one person ignores this simple courtesy, others follow suit and eventually, no one sees it as a problem.

Frequent Food Fallout: The art of chewing food with ones mouth closed is slowly giving way to can’t-guess-what-I-had-for-lunch, here-let-me-show-you. Despite the more stringent rules that are part of dining with clients, vendors and customers, there’s no rule that restricts the number of chews essential to finishing your food before engaging in a conversation.

Toxic Turnover: The number of people who leave a demanding manager is far less than those who leave a manager that is frequently acid toned in their delivery and unappreciative in acknowledging those who go the extra mile. What that person may describe as ‘wimpy’ or ‘lack of spine’ is really an aggressive response to discourteous conduct unbecoming a manager. Employees don’t take being treated discourteously, if they don’t have to.

There are far too many opportunities during the course of the work day to exhibit office courtesies that go a long way to establishing you as a person for whom career advancement and common courtesy are an integrated part of your promotional package. Please, give some thought to your personal courtesy quotient. It will cost you very little and give you back so much more. Thank you.